remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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