Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
