Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
