period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I wish there were birth control emojis
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
