I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
