Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
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I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize