We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
There's always time for handjobs
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
