Can Purell be used as lube?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
