I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
