I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
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I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
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got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
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