PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
