I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
