Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
