His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
