I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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