what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
