hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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