kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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