another moral hangover. fuck.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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