How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
