Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
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Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
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Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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