we're blogging at a bar
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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