Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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