I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
