he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
