I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
