I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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