I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
