In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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