In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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