Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
