I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
