Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
