Pappa wants mamma naked
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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