His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
