drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize