I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
