Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
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So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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