just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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