where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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