Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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