Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
