just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
