I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
