Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize