dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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