Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Randomize
