i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
