I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
