I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
