I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
