He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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