He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
