Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
