did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize