you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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