I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
