You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just tell him i said nine months
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
