SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
