her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
well you can't waste a boner
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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