She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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