Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
