Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
