He kissed a someone with a penis
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
