you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
