I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
