I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Jerry, you need to find god
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
