We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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