HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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