Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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