oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
